Topic Overview

What are temper tantrums?

A temper tantrum is an unplanned, unintentional expression of anger, often with physical and verbal outbursts; it is not an act to get attention, as is commonly thought. During a temper tantrum, children typically cry, yell, and flail their arms and legs. Temper tantrums usually last 30 seconds to 2 minutes and are most intense at the onset.

Occasionally temper tantrums last longer and consist of more aggressive behavior, such as hitting, biting, and pinching. If this type of more aggressive behavior becomes common, a behavioral disorder or other health condition may be the cause.

Anyone can have a tantrum, even an adult. However, temper tantrums are most common in children between the ages of 1 and 4 years.

Is it normal for my child to have temper tantrums?

Temper tantrums are common, occurring in about 80% of children between the ages of 1 and 4. About 20% of 2-year-olds and 10% of 4-year-olds have daily temper tantrums.¹

Why do children have temper tantrums?

A tantrum is a normal and expected response when something interferes with a young child's attempt to gain independence or to master a skill. For example, a temper tantrum may be triggered when a child becomes frustrated while trying to button a shirt or is told it is time for bed when he or she wants to stay up longer.

Some children are more likely to have temper tantrums than other children. Factors that contribute to a child's tendency to have tantrums include fatigue, the child's age and stage of development, temperament, stress in the child's environment, and whether underlying behavioral, developmental, or health conditions are present (such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder [ADHD] or autism). Also, a child may be more likely to have temper tantrums if parents react too strongly to difficult behavior or give in to the child's demands.

How do I deal with temper tantrums?

Ignoring the tantrum behavior and helping a young child learn how to handle and express anger and frustration are usually effective ways to deal with the behavior. Also, paying attention to what triggers tantrums can help you act before a child's emotions escalate beyond the point where he or she can control them.

If your child continues to have frequent temper tantrums after age 3, you may need to use time-outs. A time-out removes the child from the situation, allows him or her time to calm down, and teaches the child that having a temper tantrum is not acceptable behavior. Time-out works best for children who understand why it is being used.

Will my child grow out of having temper tantrums?

Most children gradually learn healthy ways to handle the strong emotions that can lead to temper tantrums. They also usually improve their ability to communicate, become increasingly independent, and recognize the benefits of having these skills. Children who continue to have tantrums after the age of 4 usually need outside help learning to deal with anger. Temper tantrums that continue or start during the school years may be a sign of other issues, including problems with learning or getting along with other children.

Should I see my child's doctor about temper tantrums?

Talk with a health professional if:

• You have concerns about your child's temper tantrums.
• Your child older than 4 years continues to have frequent temper tantrums.
• Your child's temper tantrums escalate into violent behavior that endangers others or results in self-inflicted injuries.
• You have problems handling your child's behavior, especially if you are concerned that you might hurt your child.

Frequently Asked Questions